October 22nd, 2015 In Defense of This Place

October 22nd, 2015 In Defense of This Place

From Day 37 --October 22nd, 2008:
Tomorrow is my 37th birthday. Another year older is much easier to take when you realize that you're doing something positive everyday. Bring it on 37!

From Day 403 --October 22nd, 2009:
Tomorrow will be my 38th birthday. As I reflect on what will forever be known as the age I finally got it together and lost the weight, I have to smile and give thanks. Thank you to my beautiful wife and daughters for being by my side. Thank you to Irene for never giving up on me. After twenty years of telling me how worried she was about my obesity, I finally listened. My 37th year has been monumental, easily the best year of my life. It’s really kind of ‘Dickens-esque’ “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” could accurately describe the last year. But you know what? It’s mostly been fabulous! Yes I said fabulous!! Turning 38 tomorrow doesn’t really bother me like it would if I still weighed over 500 pounds. I’m no longer one year closer to an early grave, I’m one year closer to being healthy and living my dreams. It’s going to be a great year ahead, it really will be.

From Day 771 --October 28th, 2010:
Saturday the 23rd was my thirty-ninth birthday. And even though I don't necessarily like the idea of quickly approaching forty, I couldn't be more thrilled about a birthday. Age thirty-nine is poised to be the most rewarding, personally and professionally, than any other year in my life. As much as I like to kid around about being "upset" over growing older, deep down--it's contrary. I'm still young and since losing all of this weight, I feel like my entire life has been redefined, opened up to a fresh new start where anything is possible. My weight loss makes me feel like a kid again, with unlimited potential--unaffected by the turmoils of life and the restrictions we grow to believe exist. This freedom, well--it's amazing really, so thirty-nine? No problem. It will be what we make it, because if I've learned anything in the last 771 days, it's this: The outlook for the future is determined by the attitude I apply and the choices I make along the way.

There weren't any birthday related postings in 2011, 2012 or 2013. My blogging discipline had become sporadic at best--The "Daily Diary" became the "Every Once In A While" Diary...And although I maintained fairly well for nearly a year and a half after hitting 230 in November 2010, the decline of my fundamental elements caught up to me. Reading my birthday post from last year was fun. The turnaround from relapse/regain was of course, in full force.

From October 23rd, 2014:
I woke up today feeling good about it being my 43rd birthday. I tried to go back into the archives to read how I was doing on my 42nd birthday, but I didn't blog a single page the last half of 2013. Honestly, I didn't need to read about it, I remember it well. I woke feeling depressed a year ago. I had gained back a big amount of weight and I was in the middle of the 'I've got to get a handle on this, now' cycle. That cycle was two or three days of doing well followed by two weeks of doing bad--and repeat. 

Waking up today and feeling alive again felt incredible. A year ago, it felt improbable to ever feel like this again. When I looked in the mirror last year, all I could see was someone getting older and looking older--and worst of all, a man who was quickly losing hope for anything better. Honestly, it was mild to moderate depression. 

I looked in the mirror this morning and staring back at me was a man who has a renewed spirit, new hope, dreams and most of all, a new attitude and perspective. My state of mind is one hundred eighty degrees what it was on this day a year ago. My whole world has opened.

Only I know how truly bad it became--because it hit levels I haven't shared with anyone. Suffice to say, this turnaround, in my opinion, is nothing short of a miracle. I am truly blessed.

I turn forty-four years old tomorrow (Friday the 23rd). Seven years after starting this experience, I find myself at a weight I haven't experienced since eleven years old. My blood pressure is normal. My blood work numbers are all in the excellent or normal category, I sleep well and truly, I feel physically better than ever before in my adult life. 

Even better than the numbers, is the peace and calm--mentally, emotionally and spiritually, like I've never known. This place of being, is precious to me. Every day that I maintain the integrity of my fundamental elements, I do it in defense of this place. It is not a burden, a chore, a departure from who I am or anything like that, because it has my embrace. It has my respect.

It is not a given or a guarantee. I don't "got this," and it isn't "all me." It's one day at a time, each day--staying connected with support in a variety of ways and expressing heartfelt gratitude every day for the recovery I've found. I hope and pray I never again abandon what's critical for my long term recovery.

Forty-four is young. I'm lucky. Of course, occasionally I notice a few more gray hairs--and the pigment-less old man bushes growing out of my ears--coupled with Andy Rooney-strong eye brows that require trimming monthly...but honestly, at the end of the day, those things don't matter. They don't even matter in the morning or middle of the day.

I feel the love. From my family, my colleagues, my friends in weight loss support, my listeners, the readers of this blog and more. And I don't reject, I embrace, because...

I feel loved by me. Truly, deeply.

Letting the Tweets tell the tale of today. Goodnight and thank you for reading.

My Tweets Today:






























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

October 21st, 2015 If Every Day Were Like Today

October 21st, 2015 If Every Day Were Like Today

A follow up to last night's armed robbery: It was confirmed through the Wichita Police Department activity logs--the clerk wasn't physically hurt. It also noted the suspect committed another armed robbery an hour later about one and a half miles North on the same street. I'm so relieved the clerk wasn't physically harmed. Mentally and emotionally--I can't even imagine how that experience might affect someone. Racing away from the scene felt like the right thing to do, even though I felt horrible for the clerk left behind. There wasn't anything we could do other than what we did--get to a safe distance and call police.

It was difficult to fall asleep last night. It must have been 2am before I drifted. It set my day up for a rough one. Luckily, I was able to split the day in half and get a midday nap. It was necessary. My food schedule was tilted somewhat. I didn't feel like eating a big lunch, opting for an apple with natural peanut butter and a cup of coffee, instead. The consequence was less than 1,000 calories consumed by 6:30pm. I eventually caught up, but I'm still leaving 81 calories on the table tonight.

I must evaluate my weight maintenance calorie budget carefully, especially if I register another significant loss in a week. MyFitnessPal just told me "If every day were like today" I'd weigh 203.7 in five weeks. I'm not getting too worked up about it. I feel good, really good physically. It's just, the more weight I lose, the more I realize I need strength training. And for whatever reason I haven't made that commitment.

You know what I'm doing? I'm over-complicating the strength training thing. Yep! The very thing I passionately write and speak about NOT doing when it comes to weight loss, I'm doing when it comes to strength training. Consistency beats intensity applies in this regard, too. Right? 

It's also very interesting that I haven't firmed up accountability and support measures for strength training. Why? Because if I did, I'd need to do it!! But I complicate it, so I avoid the accountability and support needed to encourage. 

It reminds me of my water tweets. I didn't start incorporating those until about a year ago. I started after the person I was dating at the time asked why I didn't track and share water like I did everything else. My reply was straight up honest: "I don't want to be held accountable for my water goals." In other words--I wanted an out. If I didn't share the water consumption and I didn't want the water, by golly--I just wouldn't drink it--and nobody would be the wiser. 

But then I started thinking about it--and going through all of the benefits increased water would provide and it was then, I realized: I needed to include the water tweets. Since then, it hasn't been perfect. I still have an occasional day when I don't hit the minimum goal--but 95% of the time, I do. And that's a dramatic improvement over the last year.

Accountability and support works.

I truly believe if I apply a greater importance level to strength training by installing some structured accountability and support, then I'll be in for an incredible "phase two" of this transformation.

Happy 'Back To The Future' Day!!!!

My Tweets Today:
























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

October 20th, 2015 Robbery In Progress

October 20th, 2015 Robbery In Progress

9:32pm--I hit "tweet" on a water accountability post from the parking lot of a convenience store at I-235 and Meridian Avenue in Wichita, Kansas. At that very moment, my passenger, Bill, the owner of the broadcasting company I call home, starts yelling, "punch it, punch it--let's get out of here fast!" I look up, trying to figure out what's going on and immediately I see what's happening. An armed robber is standing on the counter with a gun pointed at the clerk. The clerk's hands are up. Another customer is racing from the store to his vehicle next to ours. I threw it in reverse, then in drive in what seemed like one motion and sped through the parking lot, flying out into traffic--luckily without hitting anyone or getting hit. Bill dialed 911 as I headed for the interstate to get us as far away from this place as possible. I've never witnessed anything like it. I hope and pray the clerk is okay. Had either one of us used the restroom or had I decided on a coffee for the drive home, we could have been inside. I'm incredibly grateful to be sitting at my desk writing this post.

I was picking up Bill at the airport in Wichita this evening. I arrived early enough to grab a coffee and lead the Tuesday night teleconference support group from the Starbucks on South Rock Road. I finished the call and headed into one of my favorite eateries for dinner. Chipotle is the absolute best in my opinion! I ordered the Kid's Taco Kit with a side of guacamole. It's super easy to get a lot of calories at this place. I navigated my calorie budget carefully and was very satisfied with my choices.

I had planned to write about a couple topics on my mind recently, but once again, I'll delay it. Simply too tired tonight, especially after the robbery. It's super late at this point. But I'll tell you, we have some things to discuss! Hopefully I can start early and do that tomorrow night.

My Tweets Today:




























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

October 19th, 2015 Tweets Only

October 19th, 2015 Tweets Only

Today was a good day. I'm tired tonight, so I've decided to do a Tweets Only post.

My Tweets Today:
































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

October 18th, 2015 Changing The Future

October 18th, 2015 Changing The Future

I'm a big fan of the 1985 movie Back To The Future. The original movie poster (a birthday gift from my oldest daughter) is framed and prominently displayed in my apartment. The cover of my book features a transparent before picture, a nod to the fading picture in the movie.

What fascinated me most about the film, wasn't the concept of time travel. And it wasn't about breaking the "space-time continuum." What fascinated me the most was how everything we do today, shapes our tomorrow. From the biggest to the smallest of actions, every single one can make a dramatic difference for our future.

No matter our current trajectory, we have the power to alter our path, to change the pattern, to make a difference. Time travel might not be possible. Changing the future is completely possible. It's the very heart of choosing change before change chooses you.

Sometimes I ponder what could have been for me. Had I never taken a stand, where would I be today? Would I still be alive? I don't know. Had I never simplified my approach, instead getting lost in a million different plans and rules, would I have found myself, found consistency? What kind of future would I be living?

I had a good day. I slept well, participated in active support communications, drove a colleague to the airport, had a late lunch at one of my favorite "fresh-mex" fast food places on the way back, worked on writing outlines for future video blogs, took a nap, ate well, drank way too much coffee, briskly walked 2.7 miles in the park and now I'm ready for bed.

Before I go, I wanted to share with you the support group information. Another 10 week session starts November 2nd. For ease and time consideration, I'll copy/paste my facebook post from earlier this evening:

I want to work with you on your weight loss goals.

Are you ready? Ready to get unstuck? Ready to move your transformation in the direction you desire? Are you ready to discover the power of group coaching, accountability and support? Are you ready to lose weight, different than any time before? WE WANT YOU in one of our next 10 week sessions. These groups are led by Life Coach Gerri and me! It's a once a week meeting via teleconference w/daily support via a secret Facebook page & text support. A limited number of spaces are available. Any questions? Ask in the comments section of this post. Let's get excited about your transformation!!!

*DDWL readers: The tele-conference lines we use only work well for participants in the United States. We have found a way to accept registrants from Canada, but we're unable to accommodate participants from other countries. One of our goals is to develop a Skype based international support group sometime in the near future.

To join the Monday night 6 Central/7 Eastern/4 Pacific group, register via this link: http://lifecoachgerri.com/events/sg1102mongroup/

To join the Tuesday morning 10am Central/11am Eastern/8am Pacific group (led by Life Coach Gerri with guest appearances by me), register via this link: http://lifecoachgerri.com/events/sg1102tuesmorn/

To join the Tuesday night 7 Central/8 Eastern/5 Pacific group, register via this link: http://lifecoachgerri.com/events/sg1102tuesnite/

I hope your weekend was fantastic. Mine was needed. And that's a good thing.

My Tweets Today:


































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

October 17th, 2015 Every Once In A While

October 17th, 2015 Every Once In A While

A day like today is needed every once in a while. It was quiet, peaceful alone time. I was able to get some work done on a couple of projects and casually go about my day without a set schedule. I made time for some really good support interactions, cooked some great food for breakfast and lunch and then enjoyed my favorite fajita chicken and zucchini crispy tacos, out for dinner.

My workout was fantastic. I was riding the elliptical side by side with one of mom's doctors. He's a specialist she visits once a week. I finally convinced him that I am in fact on her HIPAA form. Before, he couldn't so much as acknowledge her as a patient. Now, we exchange brief "Hey, mom's doing great--she was out walking this afternoon." "She's doing wonderful, Sean, tell her to keep up the good work." 

I'm hitting the pillow relatively early for a Saturday night. I'm tired and need to seize the opportunity for more rest. Letting the tweets take it the rest of the way.

My Tweets Today:




































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

October 16th, 2015 Minimize In My Headspace

October 16th, 2015 Minimize In My Headspace

Two guests on my show this morning helped put my fears at ease over this entire dog bite thing. I had a veterinarian and the director of the humane society, both in studio promoting different things--and I seized the opportunity to discuss this situation with each, off the air and on.

These two guests work with animals everyday and they both agreed, the chance of this being something worthy of concern is slim to none. Had it been a stray dog or a wild animal, different story. The chances of a domesticated small dog, likely an indoor pet, contracting rabies is extremely rare. Maybe my 2% uncertainty I wrote about last night is more like .1% instead. Would I like to be 100%? Of course. But even with all of the on-air talk of this situation, the lady and her dog has yet to be found.

I do have a plan to request a colleague cover the first hour of my show on Monday morning. During that time, I'll slowly drive around the immediate area looking for them. Chances are really good she walks her dogs regularly at that time. She's likely changed her route considering what happened, but I imagine she's in the area. Dogs still need walked, right? If I find her and get what I'm looking for, awesome. If not, I'm prepared to calmly be okay and allow this to minimize in my head space.

#TBT on a Friday
photo Before-Now_zps8qvk1qhh.jpg
This is one of my favorite side by side comparison photos. The before picture was snapped while dining at a Kentucky Fried Chicken. My ex-wife Irene is also in the picture. Over five years later, we have a wonderful post-divorce relationship based on mutual respect and the kind of love and caring for one another that transcends anything and everything. I just spoke with her for permission to use this photo again. The more recent picture was a few months ago during a grocery store location broadcast.

Today's schedule at work was fairly busy, enough to cancel any plans of an extended midday break--other than enough time to run to the store, grab a midday coffee and a few groceries for lunch preparations in the studio kitchen.

I was horrified today when I discovered two outstanding six week old shipments remaining on the books. I shipped several paperback books and MP3 audio book versions of Transformation Road over a month ago and thought I was caught up. I missed two. Uhg!! Linda in British Columbia and Raye Ann in Ontario--thank you for your patience!! And also, sincerely, thank you for your wonderful support! Your paperback and audio version copies of Transformation Road are on the way!

By the time I walked in the door of my apartment, it was almost 5:30 and I was very tired. Surprisingly, despite a late lunch, I felt a little hungry--so I decided a snack and a short nap was in order.

My nap ended up being too much. I slept right past the alarm. What was to be 45 minutes ended up being twice that and a little more--and it tilted my entire night. Dinner was late. My walk tonight was after midnight and here I am, finishing up this post just after two am. But, I am a night owl at heart and I'm completely off work tomorrow. I plan on sleeping until I've had enough. It would be different if I needed to be up early in the morning...good thing I don't.

By the way, the paperback and unabridged audio version combo of Transformation Road-My Trip To Over 500 Pounds and Back is still available as a complimentary gift with your donation to this blog of at least $25. The secure donation link can be found in the upper left hand corner. Thank you for your wonderful support!

Valerie recently commented:
"I'm continually impressed with your dedication to your health and eating. Despite some very rough times lately, you just keeping doing you- I love it!! So inspiring :)"

Thank you for that, Val! It all goes back to my parallel streams philosophy. Life is going to come at us in a variety of ways. If I sacrifice my fundamental elements stream when my life stream gets turbulent, #1--it won't improve my life stream situation. and #2-- For me, it would mean a return to the worst behaviors with food--and that always results in significant weight gain. Maintaining the integrity of my plan come what may is one of the biggest challenges worthy of my focus. It's imperative for continued success along this road.

You'll find two new blogs listed in the "Blogs I Recommend" section along the left hand side. "My Little Nook" is a blog by a very experienced blogger who's back--and I'm thrilled she's back! "Totally Kathy" is also new to the list. From what I've read of Totally Kathy's blog so far...wow...Get ready for a great read as she loses "one pound 300 times." 

If you have a blog you would like included on my list, please email me the link so I can check it out! transformation.road@gmail.com

My Tweets Today:




























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di
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