August 7th, 2015 Navigated Fairly Well

August 7th, 2015 Navigated Fairly Well

I'm postponing much of what I hoped to get accomplished tonight in order to get more sleep. I usually stay up fairly late on the weekends. My plan was to stay up and get caught up on a few things but my tiredness level isn't allowing that plan to happen!

I've had a really good day. Good food, good exercise and I maintained the integrity of my plan.

I planned on addressing maintenance issues tonight. I'll wait until tomorrow. Today was my second day with the 2,000 calorie budget. I think I navigated fairly well.

My walk/jog tonight went well. I haven't made the time to resolve the iPhone purchases to iTunes issue and I'm not able to get the updated version of my phone software until those apps and things get saved to iTunes. The C25K app requires an update for my phone. I'm looking forward to the C25K app. In the meantime, it's a walk sprinkled with intermittent jogging. I did much more jogging tonight.

My Tweets Today:
































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

August 6th, 2015 I Need To See Me As I Am

August 6th, 2015 I Need To See Me As I Am

I sincerely appreciate each and every comment on yesterday's weigh-day update post. If you know me well, you know I enjoy replying in depth, answering questions thoroughly and exploring the exchange of thoughts. There's so much I want to write about concerning yesterday's post. But I can't tonight. I'm looking forward to having the time tomorrow night, since I get to sleep in as long as I want on Saturday morning. I have some thoughts!

I did raise my calorie budget to 2,000 today, bulking up my meals and making sure to get a good workout tonight at the YMCA. Fitbit is insisting my total calories burned today exceeded 700--take that against my 1,999 calories---and clearly, that's ripe for weight loss.

Upon completing my entry for today in MFP, it reminded me that "if every day were like today, you'll weigh 205lbs in five weeks." NO--that wouldn't be good.

What an interesting problem to have.

I eat well. I eat what feels like a very good amount of food. Making myself eat more than 2000 calories or so, seems counter-intuitive. Then there's the food addict in recovery dynamic. And this dynamic challenges me when faced with the need to eat more when it already feels like I'm eating plenty. Anyway--I promised myself more sleep tonight and I can clearly see where I could write about this topic for two hours if I keep going.

Every night I hit the pillow, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for where I am physically, mentally and emotionally. I'm grateful that I've made it through another day with 100% food sobriety (no binge eating and continued abstinence from refined sugar). In order to eat more--especially with increased focus on physical fitness, I must work through the idea that eating more because my body needs it, doesn't equal a binge, ever. I suppose the question I must ask myself: Am I eating for my body or for my head? 

Anyway-- more on all of this tomorrow.

Chris's suggestion of 100 pictures this week--without any explanation of why, was interesting--and I think I understand why. Chris, I'll work on that this week. Sometimes, even now--and even though I haven't been a 500 pound man in over 6 years, it's difficult to fully recognize the dramatic transformation. Oh sure, I'm well aware of the differences---of course...But it's a challenge to fully acknowledge the current physical condition. I need to see me as I am. And this, in my opinion, is key in helping me shift my perspective enough to become better suited for the challenges of maintenance mode.

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#TBT I was over 500 pounds in this photo with painful sciatica nerve pain going on. Driving the cart--with my daughter snapping the photo (in the feminine products isle, of all places) as I tried to explain to every one passing by how the pain was forcing me to drive the cart. Fond memory, because even though I was hurting horribly--my daughters and I couldn't keep from having a good time together.

I look forward to having more time tomorrow night for writing and interacting. Thank you for your support. Goodnight!

My Tweets Today:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

August 5th, 2015 Weigh Day Edition

August 5th, 2015 Weigh Day Edition

I certainly wasn't expecting a ten pound drop. This morning's weigh-in at the doctor's office, to me, proves that the two pound gain from the previous three week period was a case of natural fluctuation due to water retention and various other reasons our bodies might weigh a little more on any particular day. I lost the water weight and whatever else was weighing me down three weeks ago--and likely added four or five pounds of actual weight loss to bring it down ten pounds. At least that's my guess. I was very surprised to find this number today:
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I haven't weighed 220 pounds since I was eleven years old. 

My goal now isn't to lose weight. My goal is to maintain the elements of my recovery while finding my personal balance, maintaining a healthy weight.

Does it mean I add more food? Likely. More strength training? Absolutely imperative!! Weighing more often than every three weeks? Yes. This was a suggestion from Life Coach Gerri and I think it's a really good one. I will weigh again next Wednesday and every Wednesday after, for a couple months.

I feel fantastic.

It was a super long day today. I overcame a very rough start and ended up making it a good one. I didn't get back home until almost 6:30pm and by that time, I wasn't thinking about dinner--all I could think about was getting a nap. I didn't care about it being so late. I needed an hour. Without it, I likely would have skipped dinner, skipped my test run tonight and skipped the blog---passed out for the night. I took what I needed. I got up after an hour, made coffee--and prepared a fantastic dinner. It was incredibly delicious!! (see dinner tweets below).

My test run went very well tonight. At one point, I jogged almost three minutes without stopping!! The shoes made a HUGE difference. No pain afterwards! My phone was giving me fits as I tried to update it in order to support the C25K app--so I still need to figure that out. In the meantime, this test run tonight gave me valuable information about where in the program I should start. I have less than seven weeks to be ready for the Carter's Run 5k at Lake Ponca. I will run the duration of that 3.1 miles!! 

Dropping into the pillow tonight and feeling very well. I know I have some adjustments to make in my approach. I certainly don't need to keep losing--and obviously what I'm doing is still in line with weight loss for my body/metabolism. I will consider my options carefully and make those adjustments! If you would have told me in April 2014, that I would have this "problem," while I was at the top of my regain/relapse period-I wouldn't have believed you. I'm incredibly grateful.This whole turnaround from relapse/regain has been a monumental blessing. And it started with the blessing of experiencing the relapse/regain period to begin with...I needed to go through that time in order to learn things I really needed to learn.

My Tweets Today:






































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

August 4th, 2015 Pout Like Noah

August 4th, 2015 Pout Like Noah

Noah woke sometime between three and four am. I tried to convince him that more sleep was best but he wasn't having any of it. Trying to have a rational conversation about the importance of more sleep and how it would affect our day without it, with a two year old, at three thirty am, is comical. But as with everything else concerning him, he gets a pass in my eyes. Sure it's going to be a really long day, but sharing those moments with him early, while he sips milk and I sip coffee, are some of the best.

My plan to take him with me to the studio--uh, no. That didn't work. Instead, I asked a colleague to fill in for me until 6:30am, long enough for me to check him in at daycare. Everyday he attends, he gets a little report card at the end of the day. His reflected a fussy-tired little guy. If they handed out little "state of the employee" reports for us adults at the end of the day--mine would have been remarkably similar to Noah's. I was a fussy-tired little guy, too.

I took him back to his Nana's (Irene's house) tonight. I'll pick him up again on Sunday. He didn't want me to leave. Seeing him cry absolutely breaks my heart. But I eventually was able to softly say goodbye and walk away without so much as a wimper.

I'm incredibly tired. I haven't had enough sleep. My best intentions for a good and solid workout tonight didn't materialize into action. Tomorrow is weigh day. I did make the time to prepare an incredible meal this evening. One thing-- I'll never buy the pre-cut crinkle sweet potato fries in the produce section. Yes, they're fresh. Yes, it's one ingredient: Sweet Potato...but oh my-- they don't bake well. I spent a little more money to save the five minutes it would require to cut my own, like I most always do--and I ended up not enjoying the fries.

I plan on doing my first 5K training "run" tomorrow evening. I'll let you know how this goes. Like I mentioned in last night's blog, I'll be using the C25K app. It'll be mostly walking with short burst of jogging. I can't wait to see what these new shoes can do. It's like having a muscle car and looking forward to getting it out on the open road to "open it up."  

I've fallen behind on comment and email replies in the last few days. If you've asked a question recently, I'll answer, for certain--it just takes me a little longer some days.

Did I mention weigh day is tomorrow morning at my doctor's office? I'm curious. I've resisted weighing a couple of times over the last few weeks. I almost did at my last doctors appointment. They give me the option since they know I'll be in again on weigh day. I honestly have zero clue to what the scale might say. I was convinced of another loss last time and ended up with a two pound gain. I'm not worried. No, seriously--I'm not.

The scale doesn't know me or owe me. It'll give me a little report with one number based on a hundred different variables. It doesn't give me extra special consideration because I'm maintaining the integrity of a good calorie budget, remaining abstinent from sugar and eating well. It's my job to apply that extra consideration/acknowledgement to myself, regardless of what number pops up tomorrow.

Of course, if there's another gain, I'll be flipping out. 

What? I'm human and I will straight up pout like Noah.

My Tweets Today:
























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

August 3rd, 2015 New Shoes

August 3rd, 2015 New Shoes

Tweets only tonight. Noah is tucked in and sleeping. I'll be getting him up early to go with me to the studio, before taking him to daycare. Must sleep!

I'm really excited about the new running shoes! My plan is the C25K app for my phone. It's an 8 week plan. I can likely start at week three or four and that's good because the 5K I plan on running is in seven weeks,

My Tweets Today:




















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

August 2nd, 2015 I'm Two, I Got This

August 2nd, 2015 I'm Two, I Got This

I took this day and made it one to relax. The last two have been busy and I just needed some time to sleep, relax and gather myself. I did just that today! It was a sleep-in, then three and half hours later, take a nap, kind of day.

I picked up my grandson Noah this evening and took him out to dinner. He's staying with me for a few days. I have the help of a good friend, making it possible for me to go get my exercise tonight and just generally being a big help in taking care of him each day. I'll admit, I'm a nervous wreck with him. I'm over-protective and panicky over the slightest of things. I have to be told to calm down and take a deep breath and that it's okay. Noah? He just smiles at me and laughs, as if to say--come on grandpa, I'm two, I got this! 
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We're having fun while we wait on our food.

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New background photo for my phone!

I'm receiving a gift tomorrow and I'm really excited about it and grateful. I'm getting custom fit for a pair of running shoes. I'm looking forward to finally giving an honest effort in an attempt to run a 5K within 60 days. You see, there's a run for Autism the first weekend in October, I believe--whenever it is, I'm in it!! I've never ran very far without stopping. That's the goal. 60 days to get ready. 3.1 miles of running without stopping. These new shoes will make a big difference!

It's been a really good food day. My exercise tonight was a brisk walk in the park for 2.7 miles. I'm hitting the pillow having met my goals for today.

My Tweets Today:




























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di

August 1st, 2015 A Purposeful Stride

August 1st, 2015 A Purposeful Stride

I felt really well today. I knew going in that the schedule would be hurried early, it was even more hurried when I slept a little longer than I could afford. I wasn't late, it just cut short the "morning me time." 

I made time to prepare a good breakfast before getting into my first location broadcast of the day. It was at a grocery store where the main point of the broadcast was to sell freshly smoked-ready to eat pork ribs. I've done this annual broadcast every year for several and it's kind of interesting, because based solely on calorie value--ribs are one of the foods I don't eat anymore. I've consumed countless ribs in my lifetime and I love the taste, I just can't personally justify the calorie investment required. The broadcast was successful and since this store has a Starbucks, I enjoyed a good dark roast pour over with half and half.

My second broadcast was from a fashion boutique in the downtown shopping district. It was fun! I didn't pack any snacks considering my work time was only scheduled for four hours and I could easily get home and enjoy lunch before considering my workout plans and possibly a nap.

I prepared a really good lunch and caught up on a little work after and then...I started getting tired. It was shortly after 3pm when I decided my plan would be a nap first followed by a trip to the YMCA.

I set the alarm for 4:30pm and an NPR Fresh Air podcast on a ten minute sleep timer and started to drift off when I received a text message from a client needing/wanting a last minute location broadcast for a big special event at their store. Another two or three minutes and I would have been out. I'm glad the client texted when they did because we were able to spring into action, schedule the required personnel back at the studio--I got dressed and promoted it on the station's social media--picked up the station vehicle and was on the air at their location by a few minutes after 4pm. As much as I wanted that nap and Y workout, it felt amazing to be able to activate the team and come through for a good client on short notice. The broadcast was a success and it was all good. I'm no stranger to adjusting my schedule on the fly. I count it as one of my strengths!

I was back home by 6:30pm and by that time I had decided it was too late to nap. Considering my late lunch, I wasn't ready for dinner--so I figured I would get some more work done on a couple of projects I'm slowly making progress on--and then...I started fading fast. At 7:15pm I decided that if I didn't have a refresher nap, there wasn't a way to make it the rest of the evening in an alert/productive way.

I was out in sixty seconds flat. I woke up at 8:30pm and then snoozed for another 18 minutes before jumping up to get dinner started. By this time I had decided a late night walk was the exercise plan for today.

I was really looking forward to this dinner plan. I prepared a shrimp and mushroom linguine alfredo with peas and carrots (see Tweet below). OMGoodness. It was absolutely out of this world delicious!

My late night walk in the park was a solid 5K. The park is different than it once was in the late hours on a weekend. It feels much safer out there. Aside from an occasional vehicle passing through, I pretty much had the entire park and trail to myself. Extra police patrols have clearly made a difference. I've noticed my confidence has also made a difference. I carry myself in a very determined way out there. As a defense mechanism, I suppose--I ditch any mannerisms that might suggest vulnerability, instead I look as tough as can be--standing up straight, shoulders back--fists lightly clinched---walking with a purposeful stride and expression that says, "don't mess with me unless you want trouble." Okay--actually, that's hilarious for me to read. I am so not threatening or menacing looking...but "they" wouldn't know that, right? 

It's strange really-- I've never been in a physical fight in my entire life--yet, I feel confident that I could defend myself if needed. That reminds me--I'd like to find a place to learn boxing, not for self-defense, but for a great workout.

And sooner rather than later, I'll finally be learning how to actually run. More details on that tomorrow night.

My Tweets Today:








































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
di
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